just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
