so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
