just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
