fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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