he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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