As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
