"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
