I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
