Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
