I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
