Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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