In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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