another moral hangover. fuck.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
