dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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