I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
