I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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