google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
