He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
