don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
