I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she told me i tasted like america
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
