Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
