i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
