I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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