I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
