Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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