she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
