Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize