Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
