Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
