Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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