sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
