Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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