so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
