Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
