He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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