I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
