I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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