Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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