The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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