My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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