Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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