oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
