This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
