I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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