its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
