She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
