i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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