i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
