he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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