What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
