His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize