So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i out mim tonsoeep
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