so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
