I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
