Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
