i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
