I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
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Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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