Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
